Ways to Pass an Exam… in Your Dreams!

A few ways to pass an exam in your dreams!

- Do a cheerleading stunt.

- When you receive the exam, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand any of this. I’ve been to every lecture this semester! What’s the deal?

- Bring a video game. Play with the volume at max level.

- On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example, write “I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs”. Use your imagination.

- Bring a pet or any small animal to safely play with.

- Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor and say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

- Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

- Pretend to fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh gee, better get cracking,” and scribble furiously. Turn it in a few minutes early or panic like it’s the end of the world, like it’s 2012!

- Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “I’ve got the secret documents!”

- Talk the entire way through the exam. Read the questions aloud and debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out sarcastically, “I’m so sure you can hear me thinking.”
- Complete the entire exam in another language you know. For maths or science exams, try using Roman numerals.

- Throw a paper ball at the instructor when she or he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

- As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat the corners.

- Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, and continue with the exam.

- Turn in the exam approximately 20 minutes in. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

- Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things.

- Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, swear loudly and walk out triumphantly.

- At some point during the exam, start crying for mommy.

- Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him or her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper.”

- Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

- about 30 minutes on the exam, put on a white mask and start singing “the phantom of the opera” song.

- Bring a bubble maker toy.

- From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to ‘The Wizard of Oz’.

- Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

- If the exam is maths or science related, make up the longest essay about mathematics that you could possibly think of. If it is a written exam, write numbers, formulas, or equations as if you are a genius scientist.

- Bring an annoying/loud battery operated massager give yourself a massage and make some annoying noises the entire way through the exam. Insist that this is needed, because you have bad circulation.

- Bring cheat sheets from another subject (like biology for a calculus exam) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”

- After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask him or her to answer it for you.

- Bring condoms, blow them up, and start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

- Bring some picture frame of an ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

- Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

The Unreal Universe
A Book on Physics and Philosophy

Pages: 292 (282 in eBook) Trimsize: 6" x 9" Illustrations: 34 (9 in color in eBook) Tables: 8 Bibliography: Yes Index: Yes ISBN: 9789810575946

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